Friday, February 22, 2013

Tattoo

Hey there kids! Tattoos. Some people love em, some hate em. Some get them, later regret them, and later try various procedures like laser removal to get rid of them (to varying degrees of success). Either way, it is a personal choice. And now here's my thoughts on them.

Tattoo's should always have some sort of meaning. Not a name of a boy/girl friend as they can come and go. In the people I've met these are the most commonly regretted, covered, or attempted to be removed. And they shouldn't be, "oh that's cool, I'll put that in my skin." Also later regretted by many. The hand or foot prints of your new born child, for instance, are something that have deep meaning for every parent. Music notes, sheet music, or an instrument for a musician or in memory of a loved one who played music. A common theme among military members, including this one, are military based tattoos. Branch, occupation specialty, quotes, motto's, meat tags, etc.

You see, for me, a tattoo is a visual representation of who you are, where you've been, and what matters to you. So when I come across someone wanting a tat, or sporting new ink, just because it looks cool, the first thing that comes to my mind is, "what an idiot". And this is something that many tattoo artists agree with. However, they also have to take the stance of #1) ink is their livelihood, so they can't very well turn someone away unless it's a matter of ethics or conscience, and #2) if it's something that someone really wants to put in their skin, it's on them.

So before you go and get some fresh ink, or even your FIRST, sleep on it for a while. Is it really what you want? How likely are you to regret it later? What does it mean to you? Is it something you would be okay with your own child seeing or getting one day?

The next thing that I'll go into is location. Location, location, location. Where should your ink be. Well it's a personal choice as well. But in general I would recommend keeping future employment opportunities in mind.  While tats are art, not everyone views them that way. In fact, some people down right loathe them and will disqualify you for that alone whether they'll say it out loud or not. So make sure that where you get them is easily concealable. Personally I think anywhere is okay as long as you can cover them when needed.  Places like hands, anywhere above the neckline, especially the face should be avoided. Even below short sleeves should be avoided if possible. Forearms can be easily covered for interviews, but you should keep in mind that it can get hot in the summer, and some employers will have you cover up regardless of time of year.

Tats are becoming more acceptable, but it's better safe than sorry in my book. But the bottom line is, do what's comfortable for you. It's your skin. Just do everything you can to ensure that you won't regret it later in life.

~Crypt Keeper Burt

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Life dreams, journeys, opinions, and advice.

A lil bit on joining the military here. Before, during, and now years after I'm still asked, "why would you join the military?" My retort, why wouldn't you? I'm of the opinion that every able bodied person should serve at least one term. But that's just me.

For me it goes back a ways though. I come from a family where damn near every generation has had at least one person go into the military. It's not required, expected, pressured, or even really talked about. It just happens. So there may be some bias there. My personal journey started way before that though. When I was little, I'd line up all of my toys to face off against each other. I knew from a young age I wanted to be in the service, I just didn't know what branch, and I wanted to be a cop. By the time I was in high school, I can still recall many people telling me I was nuts, or trying to dictate which branch to go in because "it was safer." Safer? My opinion hasn't changed on this part. Screw safer, if you're looking for safety go lead a pack of girl scouts at a bake sale! It doesn't matter what branch you're looking at, "safer" shouldn't be a consideration.

Bottom line is regardless of the job you want or end up with, the military is there to look the Grim Reaper in the eye, smile, piss on his feet, and call him a pussy.

Then came the vast majority, but not all, of my teachers and the outspoken ass hats that never had the balls to serve telling me I'd never graduate let alone make it. Now, I'm the first to admit I was a jerk once I hit puberty. After some time bouncing between private and public schools, and moving around, I finally got in gear. I buckled down on my school work, got my grades up, and then applied to NMMI.

For those that don't know NMMI is an 4 year high school, and 2 year junior college with an Army commissioning program. Some refer to it as the West Point of the west. Oh man, I had so many people tell me I wouldn't make it a week there, it made me sick. Upon getting there, I learned that because of how different the curriculum was (private school credits don't carry over to other schools in my state), I'd graduate much later as well. 2 years late! Yes, I was 20 when I finally graduated. Not only did I make it through 2 years, I graduated, and to this day I'm still in touch with some of the best friends I'll ever make from there. It was while I was here I finally enlisted in the USMC.

Even after making it through NMMI, going back home was a nightmare. Not only had I proven the nay-sayers wrong, but they continued to say I'd never amount to anything and wouldn't make it through boot camp.

I can remember the flight out to San Diego still. A group of us flew from Albuquerque, NM together. Made it to the USO where we were told where to go to wait for our bus to MCRD. Finally a few white busses pulled up and were wer rushed in, and told to keep our mouths shut by what I viewed at the time as the worst recruiter in history. After a while, this same person would tell us to put our heads down and look at the floor as we continued on. Finally the bus came to a stop, another guy jumped on the bus and started yelling at us in a tongue that I can only describe as an alien dialect as we were rushed off the bus and onto some yellow footprints. The journey began, and I'd not only gain new life long friends, but a new family. And I will be able to claim the title of US Marine until the day I die.

So why join up? To serve. To be a part of something bigger than yourself. To be a part of a small, and unique culture or warriors. To know that your work made a difference somewhere. To accomplish what others can only dream of. To travel to places you'd otherwise never see. To meet new people. To develope special skills that others lack. To find character that others only dream about. And to know you'll never know what it's like to regret not stepping up to the plate and showing just how big your balls really are.

All these years later, I can look back with pride. I graduated from a top notch school. I became a Marine. And was a military policeman which allowed me to kill two birds with one stone. I proved all the nay-sayers wrong. I accomplished everything I wanted in my childhood  quickly. Now I set goals, and look for new achievements just for me. I don't care about the nay-sayers anymore because they're all wrong. I've become a parent. And recently added collge grad to my list of completions. So regardless of hurdles, I look forward to lifes journey and take my time in choosing what direction I want to go in it these days. You can do that once you've learned how to accomplish your goals and dreams.

So my advice to everyone is this. Figure out what your dream is, and go for it. Use the nay-sayers to fuel those desires. Even if you don't join the military (I'll admit it's not for everyone) don't wait. Once you know what you want, look at what you need to do to get there, and start taking the steps. Even though you may not be able to take them all at once, the ability to take those other steps will present themselves in due time. Just keep moving.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Why would you ride a motorcycle?

Motorcycles. You have to be crazy to ride one of those things! Well then label me crazy, cause I love my bike and go nuts when I can't ride it. Like in the winter when the weather turns on you.

You're nuts, why would you do that? Well I'll bet you had a bicycle as a kid. And I'll bet you'd go to the top of a hill, lean in, and peddle until you thought your heart was going to explode and your lungs were going to give out, #1 to get it going as fast as you could, and #2 to see how far you could get it to go until you had to start peddling again. Remember that feeling you got when you hit a good speed, and how you'd just coast it out as long as you could? Well that's just a little taste of what riding a motorcycle is for those of us in the brotherhood of bikers. It's a fraternity that others just don't understand, and forget about when they grow up and stop riding that bicycle.

But it's dangerous, you'll get hit by a car! Well, you're obviously aware that we're on the road. So when you get behind the wheel of that cage, keep an eye out for us and remind your friends to do the same. It's always a shame when a cager gets in a hurry and forgets to pay attention to what and who is on the road. It's not just cars, trucks, and suv's anymore. And as the economy has balanced out at "you're too poor to eat" more and more people have begun getting there endorsement and started riding.

It's also a culture unto itself. One of loyalty and respect. It's not about what you ride, but rather that you ride. You can be on a crotch rocket and still have someone on a Harley with ape hangers flash you those couple of fingers as a way of saying, "hey there" and showing some love and respect. Bikes are no longer the just the rebels and the weekend warriors. These days it's the common man too. There's even more and more women getting on bikes and not as passengers.

So the next time you see someone on a bike, or hear them talk about it, reflect on that part of your childhood when you could say woohoo! Then find a way to get your ass back out on the road. Because motorcycles are not the enemy. It's your forgotten inner child.

Happy Thoughts, Happy Days, and Holidays!

Time for a happy blog. :-D No, I'm not bipolar, I swear. VD day has past us by. Yes, that time of year when condom manufacturers stocks are their highest, and today being the day that pharmacies across the land have sold out of the morning after pill. I'm sure the bars made a killing last night while the countless singles bought into the commercialized BS and got trashed while looking for that last minutes booty call so they wouldn't feel alone for the holiday.

Finally a holiday approaches that I can relate to. St Patrick's Day! A day of cities dying rivers green, parades in some areas, people traveling distance to kiss the Blarney Stone, some churches have celebrations, rugby tournaments, and of course tons of green beer to be had! I look forward to having a drink with the Irish side of my bloodline. Yes, that's right. While everyone is drinking green dyed piss water in an attempt to see if they can actually pee green, I'll rep the Emerald Isles properly by chugging down Guinness, Jameson, or any other Irish beer or whiskey that happens to befall me. Up yours Anheuser, you can kiss my rosey white ass.

FYI: I'll be the guy wearing the kilt. So kiss my Blarney Stone (_!_) and let the games begin!

Some sheep don't need smartphones.

So it's time for more of the crap in my mind to come forth. I recently saw an post on Google Plus that says that you can expect 24-32 hours of use on a Motorola Razr Maxx HD from a single full charge. And I couldn't help myself, I had to respond to it a call shenanigans. Especially since this is the very phone I'm using at the moment. Within minutes the sheep came out of the woodwork to back up that advert, and it just reminded me how much I hated working for Verizon Wireless Tech Support a few years ago. Bottom line, people should need to take a test before they're allowed to get a phone, and the results should dictate the type of phone they're allowed.

So I ask how people actually see these time frames while actually using their phones to their fullest. The responses I got are as follows: I set the smart controls to that WiFi turns on/off automatically at certain places, I turn off GPS location services, I turn off the Bluetooth feature when I'm not actually using it. I'm thinking, okay, all reasonable actions so far.

Then the headache starts. I dim the screen as much as possible, I set battery controls which stops data if I'm actually in an app an using it, I set my various email not to update unless I do so manually. I don't know about you, but I like a bright screen I can see. The purpose of a smartphone is to actually have access to things as they come to you such as email. But as much as I disagree with these actions, I can understand them coming down to personal preference that won't make a big deal in actual battery use. But in seeing this I know they're holding back, and battery life isn't impacted much by these changes.

The headache comes full on now. I use my phone for text, read my email though I don't respond to it from my phone, and I make calls all day. But I don't surf the web, play games, stream music or video, or use many apps. AH HA! Some truth has come out finally. My question to you now, why do you have a smartphone if you don't use it as such. The resounding answer, so I can read my email. My retort, GET A REGULAR PHONE YOU DOLT!

Reasons to get a smartphone: to get and respond to email. Access, modify and send documents while away from a computer, access the internet for various things, keep current on news and things important to you, stream music and/or video (video being great for video conferencing), being able to access and use banking apps like PayPal for various needs, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN STARTED YET!

Here's my thing, if a phone is reported to have average use of these long hours that are advertised now, it should be based on the average use of people who actually use the smartphone to it's fullest. Obviously some features will drain the battery faster than others.

People are raping themselves by getting smartphones, and then dumbing them down to regular phones as much as possible. You can get a regular phone with or without a qwerty keypad, and/or a touch screen, that gives you access to calls, text, email, calendar with scheduling, navigation, and still offer you apps for much less than a smartphone, and in some cases (provider dependent) a lower data plan than you're using with a smartphone. People are falling in line with the various companies push to get everyone onto a smartphone and a data plan these days. You don't need all this crap! It's like buying a car and not driving it.

So the next time you see one of the many sheep out there talking up how great their phone is, but how they're getting shafted on their bill, just keep in mind they're probably raping themselves.

FYI, I wrote this from my smartphone. While I may only see 10-12 hours of life in it, I actually use it, so I don't feel as bad as the sheep when it comes time to pay my bill.

If you're dumbing down your phone, just to see the reported long battery life... you're an idiot and need to turn your phone off. Use that damn thing as it was intended, and start making the manufacturers deliver a product based on the use of people that use it and not as the average non-user that own it.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Super Joke

Super Bowl or Super Joke?

I mean really. What the hell are we watching. The NFL has come up with with ridiculous rules over the years. Safety related my ass. And in my opinion these guys are payed WAY TO MUCH! Yes, I'm yelling like Sam-MothaFuckin-Jackson again.

But they seriously delay the game because some lights went out. Are they afraid someone in the stands will miss the game because of that? This crap annoys me to no end. Do these guys not remember playing on dark fields, after sundown, in the rain, WITH NO PADS? I can still remember it like yesterday. Poor babies might break a sweat. Skins versus Shirts ring a bell for anyone?

What happened to love of the game? This is love of the almighty dollar! If the pampered pansies get a hang nail, they may be looking at a career ending injury. And what's the focus on the coaches being brothers? Yeah, it's been mentioned. So fucking what! Get over it! Instead of calling it the Super Bowl they should call it Harbaugh Bowl. Even the Pirate Bowl didn't have that much attention payed to something so mundane.

Reflect on this seasons Army/Navy game people. Passion, camaraderie, leadership, true heartbreak, everything that a ball game should be. Then we see this crap to finish off the season. I'm let down.

Shit the money spent on ads alone should be illegal. That's money that would be better put towards taking care of a number of things such as our homeless, the deficit, and about a million other things.

Now let's take a small look at the joke they called a half time show. Now I know they want to tone things down since the Janet Jackson/ Justin Timberlake wardrobe malfunction. That was a pretty crappy show in itself. But I swear that ever since that happened, they've gone out of their way to make sure that half time shows suck more dick than a well rounded porn star. Shit sound, shit stage shows, a bunch of lights, and auto-tuned sluts in skimpy outfits do not make a good show. Vince McMahon could put together a better show with 98 year old women. Right now, I'd rather be watching the Lingerie Football League. At least they have some drive.

Hockey season may be short this season, but at least I can look forward to the occasional fight. And athletes that don't lay down like they're dying every time they get bumped or find a piece of grass stuck in their shoes. Plus, MMA is year round baby. Dana White, you sir need to create your own football league, so that the sport can have some testosterone, and respect again.