Saturday, January 26, 2013

New Exercise? You're kidding me right?

Angry rant time!

So over the past year and a half, to two years, I keep hearing people talk about how there's this new exercise that really helps you get in shape and burn fat. It's called a burpee. The funnier thing is that most of these, "fitness guru's" are full of shit.

So let's take a quick look at this exercise that sounds like one of those burps that dislodges what you had for lunch back into your throat for a moment.

I've watched countless video's where it's supposed to be one of the main exercises being used. I've read countless articles that mention or list burpees, but never explain exactly what they are. But FINALLY I found what I was looking for.

It's a SQUAT THRUST people! It's NOT new. Let me repeat that. It's NOT new. This is one of those exercises we had to do in junior high and high school and absolutely dreaded. I can remember pumping this bastards out as the couch counted them off. 1...2...3...ONE, 1...2...3... TWO, etc, etc. Hell, this exercise is so old, that the caveman knew what they were.

Why do we have to keep changing names to make things "cool" people? It's ridiculous! We're not talking the generational dialect changes that are a given such as, fantastic = groovy = gnarly = bad= cool and so on. We're talking about idiots thinking everything needs to be re-made or given the Hollywood reboot (which if you haven't noticed has accounted for even more shitty movies than good ones.)

The other day I was talking to someone and made the mistake of asking them what kind of exercise they did. Well um, push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks.... STOP! What you're doing is called CALISTENICS you damn monkey! 

Was the idea to make squat thrust fun? You failed miserably ass hat! They still suck! So before you go trying to rename the push up into the ground press, sidewalk humps, or some other shitty name... take a moment, and realize you're a simple minded, douche nozzle, and stop what you're doing. The only thing you accomplish is adding to the decaying, lazy ass state that our society is already spiraling in.

#Burpee #Exercise

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

New Blog, Music, and Kudos

Hello kiddies, Crypt Keeper Burt is in!

Here's my first blog on Blogger. It only makes sense to start anew here since I use a lot of Google products. Sadly Opera isn't what it once was. So hello, hi, welcome, how you doin, nice to meet you, etc, etc, etc.

For my first blog here I'm going to tip my toe into the realm of something everyone loves, and nobody hates, MUSIC. No, that wasn't your dog howling, it was my weak attempt at singing. Yeah, I just sang MUSIC.

So I listen to a bit of this and that. I won't say I listen to everything, because lets face it, there's some music that people's individual tastes just don't cater to. One of the many forms I like is in nufolk. And one of the very few people that has really impressed me quickly is +LIZZY SPIT. This Aussie has staying power. Her sound reminds me of Suzanne Vega (Tom's Diner style) mixed with Aimee Mann (solo career) and the lungs of Stevie Nicks. The woman crawls through your eats, and pulls at emotions that leave you fulfilled when you get off the roller coaster she takes you through. And if that wasn't enough, she reaches out to her fans and actually interacts in way, that so few artists actually do today. She exercises a very personal touch that you only find with independent artist today such as Curt Yagi.

Up until recently there have only been three groups in the past decade that have really gotten to me. Psycothermia (formerly Canobliss), Curt Yagi & the People Standing Behind Me, and now I can happily insert some girl power in the form of Lizzy Spit. You're awesome Lizzy, keep up the great work.

So that's it for now kiddies. Go listen to +LIZZY SPIT pick some strings and hypnotize you with her voice.