Thursday, November 21, 2013

Extra Time

Well the holidays are upon us. The home stretch of the year, that puts a hurt on everyone's wallets. And as the saying holds, only in America do we have a holiday to reflect on what you're grateful for, only to have an event the next day that promotes trampling others for the stuff you don't have. So last week I got to enjoy a rare treat in the holiday spirit. I got to go have a Thanksgiving lunch with my youngest.

I did it last year too, and even though it's nothing flashy, it still holds an amazing feeling around it. Here in our area, the elementary schools have an annual Thanksgiving lunch. And the parents get to go sit down with their kiddos. So I got to have a little time with my boy, that I normally wouldn't have. And that in itself is something to grateful for.

We all meet up at our kiddos classrooms, then get in line with them. And the food is actually pretty decent. Some of it is a bit salty for my taste, but still pretty decent. Turkey (a bit of white and dark meat), stuffing, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, a wheat dinner roll, pumpkin spiced cake, cranberry sauce, and a choice of milk (white, chocolate, or strawberry).

So in a month where so many say I'm thankful for this, and that, with some BS daily little thing to say they're grateful for the month. I'm grateful for my family, and the extra time I get to spend with them as it comes. And not just today, but everyday of the year.

And on a final note... SCREW BLACK FRIDAY!

Thoughts about nothing and everything.

Hey all! Here's a totally random thought that passed through my head earlier. Just one of those things that's something, and nothing all at the same time. Something the parents can relate to for sure. So here goes my 5 seconds on Seinfeld blabbing.

Why is it such a complex thing to go to the bathroom? You're just going in and dropping off. That's it. If you have kids it takes a while because you can't even finish dropping your trousers without out someone knocking, yelling through the door for you, of just plain walking in. So it's like a 5-10 minute race to get out, but enjoy some peace at the same time. But it doesn't end there. You get all the kids off too school, and have the house to yourself for a few minutes. You go in, you take your time and realize you just had a 5 minute race against yourself because you were still braced for someone to come ruin those few minutes of solitude.

Oh well. Take what peace you have and enjoy it anyways.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Thanks for Smoking?

Hello kiddies, this is your pilot speaking. We've achieved our cruising altitude, so feel free to remove your seat belts, use your trays, and roam about the cabin freely. Oh, and thank you for not smoking. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Smoke em if you got em. And without further ado, today's special is changes in smoking.

So last night my wife asked me how long did I smoke cigarettes for. The answer she got was surprising none the less. What she thought was just one or two years, was actually much longer than that. It's a habit that followed me all the way back to middle school. And that's probably why it was the most shocking. The fact that I was so young when I started sneaking my first few heaters. 

Today it's much harder to get a smoke. Unless you're bumming off someone, or sneaking them away from a family member, you have to get a store clerk to get them for you. Thus, most underage smokers have to find a work around if their folks won't buy for them. But people forget, that this wasn't the case many moons ago. Years ago it was easy to get your hands on some death sticks. You could walk into a store or gas station and just say, "My old man wants a pack of Luckies." And off you went to enjoy a carcinogenic apparatus. To make matters worse, you didn't even have to go that far. There was many a building with a cigarette vending machine by the door. 

This brings me to where I got a hold my first lung fillers. Right down the street from where I lived at the time, was the county courthouse. To add insult to injury, I had a friend whose mom worked there. So people were used to seeing us in, out, and all around there anyways. Well just inside the main entrance was a slew of vending machines. Food, drinks, and of course cigarettes. It was an older machine at that, so for 75 cents, you had clouded lungs in minutes. But of course, the courthouse isn't always open, and you wanted to keep your options just in case it was, but the machine was out of your brand. So for a while, gas stations where that back up. But then came the day when all of that ended. A new smoke shop went up, with a drive up window. If an adult was in the store you needed to back away and act like you were being turned away, and if someone was at the drive up, just be really quite. Simple rules. Follow them, and you could walk out with a carton of death. But of course most of us didn't have that money often. So I did was every other kid would do. I ran sacked the house looking for loose change. Couches, chairs, counters, you name it. Because for just 99 cents, I was going to be enjoying my smoke. 

As if that wasn't enough, when I did start high school, they had finally banned smoking on all parts of campus to include the shop. So what did we do? We held our protest smoke directly across the street from the front of the school every morning before class, and every day at lunch. Of course, we always felt accomplished on the occasions a teacher would come out and smoke with us. We weren't exactly smart enough to realize, they didn't care if we smoked or not. That would happen a couple years later when we'd smoke in the parking lot. Ah yes, life was good.

Then came my years when I went to military school. I always got a laugh out of the idiots that would get in trouble for smoking. They had no idea how to hide it. You couldn't mask the smell in your room, and hanging out the back window would get you caught eventually. But they never learned. I kept my burners in my soap dish. Nobody ever noticed I had two there instead of one. And being that we had community showers, with a forever open window, that also housed where we did our laundry, and the toilets, it made sense to me. People were always coming and going, the place already smelt like crap, so who would notice? So every morning, and every evening I'd take a shower, leaning just out of the water and enjoying a smoke. Nobody ever caught on, and I never got caught. 

I stopped smoking, or more like changed my smoking while still in the USMC. I had found new ways of dealing with stress like SCUBA diving. It wasn't until then that I truly noticed how bad smoking really sticks out. For a non-smoker is gross. For a former smoker, it's heinous. You can smell and taste a cigarette from a mile away. Yes, you can actually taste it. And if you had smoked enough, and were familiar with certain brands, you can actually tell what someone is smoking based on that smell and/or taste. It's that bad. 

Fortunately for me, my wife is known to occasionally smoke as well so I don't have to worry about getting bitched at for my current smoking habits. So even to this day, I'm still known and seen with a cigar. And for those of you that truly know me, or have followed my blog for any length of time, know that I love my cigars. Plus, I occasionally pull out my hookah. Normally this is during the colder times of the year when I don't want to step outside for my stogie. Rarely am I seen with a cigarette. One day, I'll probably try a good old fashioned pipe. But for me I found cigars really are the best match. 

Do I recommend smoking? No. It really is a bad habit. It's truly not for everyone.  And I'm sure it's contributed to my recent development of asthma. But unlike most smokers who stick with it because of the addiction to tobacco, I'm one of the few that can say I smoke because I truly enjoy it. And I limit myself. For instance I haven't had a smoke in well over a month, and it's not a big deal. I know at some point in the near future I'll put my trigger finger to use on a nice fat cigar. It's probably best labeled as a hobby today. 

My advice is if you're going to do it, just be responsible. Be considerate of others, especially the non-smokers. And if you aren't a smoker I'll say this..... thanks for not smoking. 

Thursday, November 7, 2013

A Dirty Snack

Now sometimes in life you do something you think is a good idea. In retrospect it turns out it probably wasn't the best thing you could have done but a deal is a deal. And this blog is the genius of my brother +Shane. Granted, it's not his worst, and trust me we've shared some down right horrible ideas over the years. But I'm afraid of no subject, so our subject is..... corn poop.

Oh crap, you read that right people. Corn poop.

Now corn brings a lot of happiness. Corn on the cob, off the cob, grilled, steamed, boiled, buttered, salted, peppered, powdered with other flavors, mixed with other veggies, and let's not forget my personal favorite, popcorn. It's a staple of meals, especially during special events or holidays. Many a tailgate party has had corn on the side. And there are many a campsite where you'll find left over cobs from the golden goodness that is corn. We even use is to feed the chickens that will soon be our dinner. But after all that's said and done, we're all familiar with the after affect that is corn poop.

It comes in many forms. The brown loaf of death, dotted throughout with yellow kernel's that are only slightly dimmer coming out than they were going in. Then there's those days that are just a little looser, where you blast it out as if your colon were a shotgun. But there's no gold in those hills. Not even fools gold. Sadly it's not even chocolate in a gold colored wrapper. Nope, it's just an Easter egg for your porcelain thrown.

And regardless of what you read while you're in the library, or what level you made it to playing games on your phone. You'll forever be lured to the site that is.... corn poop.

Thanks for the shitty idea Shane.

Update on Moi

Hello kids! I know, I know. You've been screaming about where the hell I went off too. Well I'm back. And I'll fill you in. Startiiiiiinnnnngg...... now.

So as you all know by now, I spent the past few years working for scraps with the Medical Examiner. Well that's history. Yes, that's right, the dark one finally said "F" you, I'm out! It's all part of my lifestyle adjustment to focus on the positive, and get a little more enjoyment out of life. And so far, it's paid off in spades.

So where am I now? Well, I'm working at the T-Mobile tech center here in Albuquerque now. No, not customer service. Screw billing and the headache it entails. But as part of that change, I switched from nights, to days. A bigger adjustment than I though it would be. And then starting last weekend, I moved to a swing shift which is much more comfortable, and allows me to have a 3 day weekend every week. Oh yeah, I know you're jealous of that last part.

So, with that said. Grab an adult beverage (root beer for you under-ager's), possibly a good cigar, sit back, and keep your eye's peeled because the blog is about to take fight again!

(Joe and +Shane Snyder I haven't forgotten about you guys. Sock puppet's and corn poo are on the agenda.)