Death of a Bat

Rant time kids! Ben Affleck as the new Batman? Are you kidding me? This is one of the worst miscasts in Hollywood history. What are they thinking? Just seeing the title Bat-Flack made me want to puke!

They might as well put him in a blue and gray leotard! In talking to others I've said, and will say again, I'd take a claymation Batman over this bruised vagina! A good friend put it best and said they might as well have Tom Cruise pick up the role of Catwoman so he could reclaim his TomKat moniker.

Does Ben have some talent? Yes. But like many actors, he has a limited tool bag. And while I'm one of the few that actually thought Dare Devil was a decent movie, Affleck is no Batman, let alone a Bruce Wayne. I'm sure if Kevin Smith took a minute to think about it, he'd agree that his close friend is a horrible choice to dawn the cowl.

There are a number of others that would make for a better Bat. But that doesn't mean I'd want to see them do it. Samuel L Jackson, Pee Wee Herman, hell, even the kid with downs who played Corky on Life Goes On would make for a better Bat than this polished turd.

All I can say is that this had best be a one time thing. And that he only has a 5 second cameo. Think I'm going to go lose my dinner now.

Superhero Equals Super Dilemma

You have to love a good super hero. They can do the things that nobody else can, but wishes they could. They stand up for all that's right. They take the best shot adversity has to offer, smile, and say, "Is that all you got?" While this may be a bit late for some, others are probably waiting like me.

Over the years I have become a Batman fan like so many others. Sure there have been some other good heroes. The Phantom, Flash, the Punisher, Darkman, the Rocketeer, the Shadow, Hulk, Ironman, Spiderman, Xmen, I'll even let you have Hancock. However, I'd be lying if I said that the Bat was always my favorite. Sure, I watched old 1968 cartoons that Casey Kasem voiced. Enjoyed the Adam West shows. And loved when Michael Keaton donned the cowl. But my original favorite is and always will be Superman. While we all know how much I love TMNT, Superman has always been in a special place. When I was little I had Superman Pajamas. We're talking the blue, with red ankles, the red and yellow "S" across the chest, and a red cape that attached to the shoulders with velcro. Christopher Reeves would have covered the floor in puke by how much of a mark I was. I'd put on my pajama's, climb on the top of the couch, bed, counters, or whatever else was around and jump off doing my best Superman impression. Sometimes even mimicking the music from the movies to the best of my ability. To this day I still have a red cape that my grandma made me with a "B" on it. (For Burtman of course. Start my entrance music.) My youngest gets a kick out of it.

Over the years however, I've drifted away from the Man of Steel a bit. I contribute this to the lack of any real movies over the years. Sure, there have been some TV shows, but they've always lacked something. Dean Cain was just too sappy. And Tom Welling's portrayal was just a bit too young. Then after several years, Brandon Routh donned the cape, and other than a few hiccups, there was hope that Superman would fly again. But then hope fell flat on its face.

Now, in an age of reboots, Superman is back. I'm excited but have mixed feelings at the same time. Not because an Englishman is playing him this time. After all, we're not talking about Snake Plissken. Superman is an alien, not an American. That seems to be a fact lost on many these days. No, I have mixed feelings because it is a reboot. A reintroduction that's not really needed. A start that can go in any direction. And new twists that can go either way. In days past, this would have been the one movie I would have geeked out, and camped out at the theater for. But my distaste for Hollywood these days, has me on the back burner, and debating when I'll go. To make things worse I've seen rave reviews, and some that absolutely tear it to shreds. So I don't know if I want to pay the gazillion dollars to see it now, wait for the dollar theater, or wait even longer for DVD. Decisions, decisions. Perhaps I'll ask my 7 year old to make up my mind for me. ;-)

Cowabunga: Turtle Love

The first day of a new month, so lets start it right with a new entry.

Everyone has an inner child. Many just don't hear it, or are afraid to let it out. I'm not either of those type's. I'm the time that likes to let out my inner juvenile delinquent from time to time. And no, this is not one of those times I'll be letting loose with a fart joke. At least, not yet.

So my youngest and I went shopping the other day. We were on a mission to get my oldest boys birthday gift. Easy enough, mission was accomplished. However I've been needing a new wallet for a while though. My old one was not only falling apart, but what counts for "real" leather these days was starting to peel away. It got ugly. Almost to the point of busting out some duck tape. I should have taken a pic. Yes, I've done that in the past too.

So during out little adventure to the mall, (Oy, I hate that place) I decided to kill two birds with one stone. A while back a certain store had a wallet that caught my eye. And my inner juvenile delinquent has been telling me to get it ever since. And why not? We're only talking about one of my all time favorites here. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Granted, it's the cartoonish version from the 90's, but none the less it's the about the best you'll find these days.

I have to take the chain off for work, but it gets put right back on when I'm off work.

Cowabunga dude. It takes me all the way back to the early days. We're talking Eastman and Laird's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The blood, the gore, the insanely stupid puns. And don't forget, originally in black and white, and before they had individual coloring. I've been a fan, that long. Out in my garage, I still have my original poster from the first movie, sitting in a frame.

I'd wear this, just for the looks.

It still saddens me that they've been toned down. But I understand they're looking for the kids, not the adults, to market too. But then again, in my younger years I was such a big fan that even their Coming Out of Their Shells Tour was on my list. I'm not sure if I still have the VHS, but I know I still have the cassette in my tape collection. I can actually hear Pizza Power running in my head as I write this.

Most have forgotten, or just didn't know about this venture.

Then as an adult, it's good to let out your inner child sometimes. Especially when it means quality time with the family. My inner child took my family to see the last TMNT movie, and will still sit down and watch the cartoons with my kids. While it's not the same, it's not totally messed up either. They've done a decent job of keeping to the roots, but making some adjustments to keep the attention of the new generation of fans.

This isn't my actual poster, but it is the one I have.

Now we have a new movie on the horizon. At first it was claimed that the turtles would be aliens, but Michael Bay has come out at least twice that I'm aware of and said that it's not true, and the ooze would still be the cause of their current state. Personally I think Bay is the last person that should be involved in such an endeavor, but that's just my opinion. The fact that he's cast Megan Fox as April is a huge mistake, but I know he has his crush on her. So sad. Bay you better not destroy the turtles. If you smell what the Burtman is cooking. (Yes, that was a Rock inspired fart joke.)