Grand Theft 80's

Holy crap kids! I was treated to a horror tonight. It was yet another piece of evidence to add to why I can't stand a lot of modern music. Originality didn't just go out the window here. It committed seppuku.

So I'm on my way home, channel surfing the radio and for a brief moment I get a blast from the 1980's so I stop and listen. That's when things went south. And by south, I mean screaming down the Hades Highway. I'm talking about Pitbull's Feel This Moment featuring Christina Aguilera. A-ha should be on the phone lawyering up right now, screaming that Pitbull give back their only hit or pony up a huge settlement. Normally I could care less for this guy, he's neither here nor there. But this one song got to me.

Hey Pitbull, the 80's called and want its song back! Yes, I heard the lyrics. Brilliant and genius are two of the things you called yourself. Afraid not pal. You're far from the first to take part of a song. I'll stay to your brand and remind you of the Vanilla Ice/ Queen issue. I hope you're old enough to grasp what I'm getting at. But I'll give you kudos for realizing that people do like some retro in their tunes.

Then their Christina Aguilera. Holy crap, you are no Whitney Houston or Celine Dion. Just in this one "song" I heard your voice crack more than once. Thank the producers for that screw up. I swear her voice is more and more like a dog with razor wire being run over its nuts.

This is a far scream from even a minute acknowledgement. If you really want to honor someone with a tribute, take note from how others have done it in the past. Or even currently. In the past few years we've seen Disturbed put their spin on Land of Confusion of course done by the wonderful Genesis. Then you have Five Finger Death Punch doing Bad Company which of course was made famous by Bad Company.

Now I know what you're saying, that's all rock. So I'll refer you to the awesome Harry Connick Jr doing his own spin of Danny Boy in the movie Memphis Belle. I'll tell you now, if I ever hear someone takes a dump on the likes of the Rat Pack, Mills Brothers, Andrew Sisters, etc you'll see a rant that would make Dennis Leary blush.

Another rant about music.

Back to the music kids. It amazes me how today's pop culture will feed until the point of purging on the media mainstream. Kids today will know everything you can find on the likes of Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, etc, but don't go beyond that. The music underground has essentially become independents that haven't broken through into the mainstream yet, or are members that refuse to sign with major labels for fear of corporate media forcing them to sellout their gimmick for something else.

What brings me to this? Easy, recently I've tried talking to some people about their music and have gotten an overwhelming similar response every time. "Oh you wouldn't like it," or "Oh, it's new so you wouldn't know it." As those who truly know me, know I listen to a bit of everything, so I'm well versed in different areas of music. Hell, it's hard not to be when you grew up with your dad jamming in the living room at 3 in the morning on a school night, like it was no big thing.

One main area is with people who "think" they know what the rave scene, and tech is all about. I love the assumption that I don't know anything because of my age. One college kid made that assumption clear just a few days ago when I asked about a song. The first thing that came to mind was, "I was listening to Orbital, The Shamen, Praga Kahn, KLF, and a plethora of others when you were just being conceived!" No really, this is someone that was literally just being born when Traci Lords was cutting her first music album, and they think I don't understand. So I name off a few groups, and they are clueless as to who I'm speaking about.

Today's raver's are increasingly only familiar with what's in the mainstream. Part of it I blame on the DJ's, and part on the fact that kids are not encouraged to look beyond the MTV hype of today. And it's in all areas of music. You mention Black Flag, and immediately Henry Rollins is the association. You mention Metallica and  Cliff Burton is an unknown. AC/DC and Bon Scott who? Belinda Carlisle is in Purgatory apparently because nobody under 30 has a clue who she or the Go-Go's are. And Bananarama is confused for a name game played in pre-school and early grade school.

It's sad and funny all at the same time. It's a testament to an earlier rant that what passes for music today is a joke, and a bad one at that. We really need a new surge in music badassery that gets people interested in it, and the bands again.

So for those about to rock, I salute you.