Random Pet Peeve

Time for a random tick. You have to love people with a delusion of grandeur. The security guard who truly believe he's a cop, the ugly person who thinks they're a model, and something that's been on my mind for a while is the karaoke singer who thinks they are the front man for the next big band. You know the types I'm talking about.

Now we all have friends and family with good singing voices. I'm the first to admit mine sounds like a dog that's still awake while getting castrated. Yup, it's that bad. Luckily I have other talents to make up for it. However a while back, alright way back,  I met a guy at work who said in his off time he's a singer for a local band. To protect the embarrassment of the group, I won't list it's name and we'll refer to this guy as Red. But I digress. So Red's a singer right. And of course we challenge him to sing something for us. He tries, and fails with some poor excuse. And we all write him off. 

A couple years later, Red pop's up again. Our workplace is making some big fuss about him because he's going to a karaoke championship. I'm thinking, "great, he can sing if he's reading." My kids can do that while playing Rock Band, big deal. And it turns out, he did pretty good. Proving, yes it's easier when you can just read the words instead of having talent. At this point Red and I are both leaving for other business ventures, and he disappears. Out of sight, out of mind.

So fast forward to a couple months ago. My wife and I take a nice long weekend to Buffalo Thunder to get away for a little while. We're walking around and who do I find? You guessed it, here's Red and his band playing at one of the clubs at this resort. So Erica and I do what comes natural, we sit down, place an order and listen to them for a while. Overall the band isn't bad. The drummer is wailing on his kit, the bassist is walking around and killing it, the guitarist isn't great but they're getting the job done, there's a female singer that knows what she's doing and has a good voice, then there's Red. 

Red's trying to move with the dancing skills of a toddler, trying way to hard to act like a rock star, and I'm thinking to myself, "What The French Toast" For all he's worth, he can't get two feet from his mic stand. You may be asking what's the significance of that? Well he's holding a mic, it's not on the stand. The stand has an iPad holder with, that's right sports fan, an iPad! He's reading every stinking word! And very obviously at that! He's treating it like a karaoke machine! Song's that are very well rehearsed by the band, and one song being the same one he bombed all those years ago when we challenged him. He can't do anything without this stinking tablet!

Here's the pet peeve. As I've mentioned in the past, I grew up around musicians. My dad being one. Myself, being one. And many friends being musicians. If you're in a band, let alone singing, you take some pride in the fact YOU KNOW THE MATERIAL! A set list, with one or two notes is no big thing. But know the material. If you're standing in front of a tablet, you are not a musician. Red you're a hack! I don't care if you're sing the national anthem, learn it, take the heat and grow from your mistakes, or get the stage! There is one time it's okay to read the music if you're performing in front of a crowd aside from being in school, it's called being in an orchestra. Red, it's time for you exit, stage right. 

A Night of Rock

The Raskins, Alice Cooper, and Motley Crue

 Time for an entry in the concert series. Last night was a great night. It was time to break away from the hum drum crap of the world, immerse myself in some loud music, and lose myself for a few hours with some like minded people. Motley Crue's Final Tour at the Isleta Amphitheater, Albuquerque, NM. In the singing voice of Vince Neil, it kicked some ass! So time for a breakdown of the night. 

Sunset at the Isleta Amphitheatre, Albuquerque, NM

The warm up act took stage on time. Some crap group from NY called foreskins or some similar name not worth remembering. The didn't have a single song of their own, and played one of the worst Ramons covers I've ever heard. Most of the crowd ignored them and continued to get merchandise, food, and of course adult beverages. What's really sad is the fact that they weren't that bad if you got rid of the front man. Yes, he was that bad. So moving along.

Alice Cooper, center stage!

Time for Alice Cooper! Alice hasn't lost a step. Wardrobe changes, Frankenstein, beheadings, you were entertained from beginning to end. A truly great set from the master. If you were standing in the crowd in my section, it was behind me. Sadly I was in a noticeably weak section off the crowd. Don't get me wrong, I had a great view. But that's because from beginning to end, I was standing behind a sea of dead asses. Not a single person stood! Only part of the crowd! Obviously they didn't know what they were in for, our how to react. Losers. I felt bad for Alice, but I stood up raised my hand in the air and got the groove! It's ALICE! Amazing!

The sea of dead asses in front of me on the lawn. This is at the end of Alice's set.

Then of course a short intermission to adjust the stage for Crue. A short video came on the screens off stage and the sea of dead asses got up thinking it was actually their time. Morons! So I took the time to check merch, and food.

Motley Crue!

Now time for the so called FINAL TOUR (we'll see how that goes), Motley Crue takes the stage!  And BOOM! We're off and running! Balls to the wall! Everyone is on their feet and looking around you can finally tell that this is a sold out show! Lights, pyro, and ROCK! Another great set. The crowd was singing along, heads were bobbing, hands in the air, whistles, screams, a few lighters, all the good stuff that a concert should be. A little verbage from Vince and Nikki of course, and a couple of solo's. Sadly none from Tommy. But a great show none the less. Lights that give Kiss a run for their money easily, and pyro that kicks Kiss square in the balls. And to finish off the night... the boys moved to a stage in the middle of the audience to play Home Sweet Home.

Crue playing Home Sweet Home

And of course like any good show, aside from the fellow metalheads in the crowd, it was enjoyed with family and friends. Love ya!

Grand Theft 80's

Holy crap kids! I was treated to a horror tonight. It was yet another piece of evidence to add to why I can't stand a lot of modern music. Originality didn't just go out the window here. It committed seppuku.

So I'm on my way home, channel surfing the radio and for a brief moment I get a blast from the 1980's so I stop and listen. That's when things went south. And by south, I mean screaming down the Hades Highway. I'm talking about Pitbull's Feel This Moment featuring Christina Aguilera. A-ha should be on the phone lawyering up right now, screaming that Pitbull give back their only hit or pony up a huge settlement. Normally I could care less for this guy, he's neither here nor there. But this one song got to me.

Hey Pitbull, the 80's called and want its song back! Yes, I heard the lyrics. Brilliant and genius are two of the things you called yourself. Afraid not pal. You're far from the first to take part of a song. I'll stay to your brand and remind you of the Vanilla Ice/ Queen issue. I hope you're old enough to grasp what I'm getting at. But I'll give you kudos for realizing that people do like some retro in their tunes.

Then their Christina Aguilera. Holy crap, you are no Whitney Houston or Celine Dion. Just in this one "song" I heard your voice crack more than once. Thank the producers for that screw up. I swear her voice is more and more like a dog with razor wire being run over its nuts.

This is a far scream from even a minute acknowledgement. If you really want to honor someone with a tribute, take note from how others have done it in the past. Or even currently. In the past few years we've seen Disturbed put their spin on Land of Confusion of course done by the wonderful Genesis. Then you have Five Finger Death Punch doing Bad Company which of course was made famous by Bad Company.

Now I know what you're saying, that's all rock. So I'll refer you to the awesome Harry Connick Jr doing his own spin of Danny Boy in the movie Memphis Belle. I'll tell you now, if I ever hear someone takes a dump on the likes of the Rat Pack, Mills Brothers, Andrew Sisters, etc you'll see a rant that would make Dennis Leary blush.

Another rant about music.

Back to the music kids. It amazes me how today's pop culture will feed until the point of purging on the media mainstream. Kids today will know everything you can find on the likes of Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, etc, but don't go beyond that. The music underground has essentially become independents that haven't broken through into the mainstream yet, or are members that refuse to sign with major labels for fear of corporate media forcing them to sellout their gimmick for something else.

What brings me to this? Easy, recently I've tried talking to some people about their music and have gotten an overwhelming similar response every time. "Oh you wouldn't like it," or "Oh, it's new so you wouldn't know it." As those who truly know me, know I listen to a bit of everything, so I'm well versed in different areas of music. Hell, it's hard not to be when you grew up with your dad jamming in the living room at 3 in the morning on a school night, like it was no big thing.

One main area is with people who "think" they know what the rave scene, and tech is all about. I love the assumption that I don't know anything because of my age. One college kid made that assumption clear just a few days ago when I asked about a song. The first thing that came to mind was, "I was listening to Orbital, The Shamen, Praga Kahn, KLF, and a plethora of others when you were just being conceived!" No really, this is someone that was literally just being born when Traci Lords was cutting her first music album, and they think I don't understand. So I name off a few groups, and they are clueless as to who I'm speaking about.

Today's raver's are increasingly only familiar with what's in the mainstream. Part of it I blame on the DJ's, and part on the fact that kids are not encouraged to look beyond the MTV hype of today. And it's in all areas of music. You mention Black Flag, and immediately Henry Rollins is the association. You mention Metallica and  Cliff Burton is an unknown. AC/DC and Bon Scott who? Belinda Carlisle is in Purgatory apparently because nobody under 30 has a clue who she or the Go-Go's are. And Bananarama is confused for a name game played in pre-school and early grade school.

It's sad and funny all at the same time. It's a testament to an earlier rant that what passes for music today is a joke, and a bad one at that. We really need a new surge in music badassery that gets people interested in it, and the bands again.

So for those about to rock, I salute you.